November 5th, 0 AB

Yesterday our country voted. The people have spoken. Barack Obama has been elected the first black President of the United States in 16 years. It truly is a monumental day.

Continuing his trend and promise of bringing change to the country, Obama has quickly begun adding to his staff of fresh-faced newcomers (which already includes vice-president elect Joe Biden, a man who has been ushering change for the last 35 years).

The president-elect has targeted Rham Emanuel, known for the change he's brought ever since serving as a policy advisor within the Clinton White House. Emanuel released a statement neither confirming nor denying this report, stating only "we're gonna party like it's 1992."

This most recent choice will undoubtably bring new ideas and opinions to the forefront.

Meanwhile, various world leaders praised the United States' choice and embraced president-elect Obama, including Russian president Dmitri Medvedev. President Medvedev celebrated Obama's election by stationing missiles along borders of NATO countries. Though Medvedev neglected to mention Obama by name, he frequently mentioned the president-elect as "that one" while jerking his thumb in the general direction of the United States. Medvedev also neglected to mention whether the newly-placed missiles would hold nuclear warheads, saying only "there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight."

Widespread celebration of Obama's elections even reached Wall Street, where investors were excited to the point of distraction as the stock market unintentionally dropped nearly 500 points.