Saturday, January 3, 2009

January 3rd, 1 AB

We at Life After Obama would like to apologize for the delay in posting. LAO satellites were temporarily out-of-action thanks to interference from alien ships hovering just outside Earth's atmosphere.

The new leader of the European Union and president of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus, has stated he believes climate change is a dangerous myth. He also compared the EU to a Communist state. Opponents of President Klaus have been vocal, believing the president will soon learn that in Soviet Russia, climate changes you.

Wilderness Battlefield, the site of a major Civil War battle, is targeted to be the new location of a Wal-Mart supercenter. Several historians, including documentary filmmaker Ken Burns have sent letters to Wal-Mart's CEO urging the company to build elsewhere. In an effort to avoid being undercut by competition, Costco has announced plans to build a store across the street from Gettysburg's Little Big Top.

In Elizabeth, New Jersey, a firefighter was killed when he was accidentally run over by his firetruck. 19 year old Emilio Vasquez was arrested on charges of setting the fire the truck was responding to. Officials have yet to say whether "irony" will be charged with the fireman's murder.

In another instance of Mother Nature fighting back against those who seek to harm her, a car in North Hampton, New Hampshire was damaged when it was struck by a discarded Christmas tree. Officials are investigating a similar story in which a man was apparently strangled to death by a holiday wreath.

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